My role as a Soul Midwife
As a Soul Midwife I work as a non-medical, holistic companion who guides and supports the dying in order to facilitate a gentle and tranquil death.
I offer compassionate care and support to clients and their families at any stage of their illness, often from the point of diagnosis through to the end of life.
My role is to listen, offer gentle therapeutic guidance and support and to ensure compassionate care at all times. The nature of the support I offer may be practical, holistic, emotional or spiritual.
I generally continue working with the family after their loved one has died, supporting them through the funeral and the early stages of bereavement.
My training and experience
I trained with Felicity Warner in 2009, completed an apprenticeship period at St. Luke's Hospice in Plymouth and have worked in hospices, hospitals and privately in people's homes ever since.
I am currently the South West Mentor for newly-trained Soul Midwives, supporting trainees during their 6 month apprenticeship.
I also teach the Soul Midwives' School's award-winning TLC (Tender Loving Care) Compassionate Community Course, and run regular Soul Midwife supervision/peer support groups and CPD workshops.
Practical Support at End-of-Life
- gently facilitating those often difficult conversations with family, friends and medical professionals
- gently supporting you to ask any questions about your condition or discuss any concerns you may be too nervous to address with others
- helping you create a memory box, organise photos, write letters or find other ways to communicate your feelings with family or friends
- exploring ways to complete, or come to terms with, unfinished business
- Signposting you to other professionals who can support your specific needs, such as community care teams, specialist counselling services,
- supporting you through the process of writing a will, advance directive (living will) or lasting power of attorney
- Creating end-of-life plans together or talking about your funeral wishes (what you want and what you don't want)
Holistic Support at End-of-Life
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- Sounding healing
- Reiki
- Soothing head, hand and foot massage
- Gentle foot and hand reflexology
- Mindfulness and guided meditation
- Breathing exercises
Clients often report that these holistic therapies ease anxiety, help them sleep and sometimes alleviate pain. Whenever possible, I teach the immediate family or close friends how to offer their loved one gentle touch for hands and feet, tuning fork sound healing and relaxing breathing exercises. This not only continues to bring relief to the dying person in between my visits, it also helps the families feel more connected, more empowered and more able to face those final weeks or months together as a team.
Emotional Support at End-of-Life
A prognosis of death is a frightening prospect and can be a lengthy, isolating experience for both the person involved and for their loved ones, who often feel helpless having to watch their family member or friend struggle, both physically and emotionally, as their condition progresses. As a Soul Midwife I offer emotional support through deep listening, empathy and acceptance. I create a safe, therapeutic space for everyone involved to voice their fears, wishes, anger, regret, or any other emotion that demands to be released.
Sometimes, the loving, accepting space we create together allows everyone to be fully present, in silence - each person saying what they wish to say, without the need for words. Emotional support can come in many ways. It does not always need to be face to face, it can also be offered from a distance; with a call, a text, letter or email. It might also involve simply popping round for a cup of tea or bringing the family a home-cooked meal every so often. Part of my role is to encourage and facilitate ways in which family, friends, colleagues and neighbours can offer emotional support as a community; to both the person who is dying and to each other.
A good death is an extraordinary, moving and sacred experience. It can also have a healing quality, not only for the person who is involved but their families, friends and the wider community.
Spiritual Support at End-of-Life
Soul Midwives are non-denominational and are deeply respectful of each person's faith or religion. The spiritual aspect of our work revolves not around religion, rather around creating a sacred, healing space wherever that person may be. Our deep listening skills and empathic understanding enables us to work holistically with the spirit and the soul of the dying person. As death draws near we hold a loving vigil, at the bedside of the dying person if the family wishes it, or from a distance through quiet personal ceremony. We sometimes use oils to annoint the hands, feet and brow of the person, sing to them in the final hours, quietly and lovingly to ease their anxiety, or offer gentle touch to reassure them they are not alone. Our role is to recognise and attend to the individual needs of the departing soul to enable as peaceful and tranquil a death as possible.
In traditional cultures around the world, death has always been regarded as an important rite of passage, an initiation, a journey across a spiritual threshold. Modern soul midwives are able to draw on these ancient skills and traditions, applying them to our modern world and using them to ease the passage of those who are dying.